Here I Am
by Mija711
Summary: Naruto-Centric. OneShot. Naruto's thoughts on his life and Sasuke's leaving.


_Here I am_

_By Mija_

_Disclaimer Do not own In any way or form Naruto or its charactors. Naruto-centric hints of a Male/Male relationship if you squint your eyes, turn to the right and stand upside down, lol but basically tame. One shot. Its crapy I know. _

_When he was small and people spat at him and sneered his way, he could handle that, although he was afraid, it was ok, because they acknowledged him on some sort of level. It was when they walked passed him, talked amongst each other and ignored him, acted as if he were not there, invisible. That's when he wanted to shout,_

_HERE I AM! _

_Look at me! Show me I am real, that I exist._

_When he was in the academy, he hated when the other students called him stupid, made fun of him and called him names. Some even went so far as to hit him and spit at him. But he could handle that as well, at least he knew he was there, that those students were able to see him, feel him, hate him because he was real. But it was when the teachers would ignore him, not teach him, passed him up and not even once looked in his direction, even when he had his hand up to ask a question or made a stupid comment. They never looked at him, they never said a word, it was like he was some ghost, making noises, groaning and moaning but yet they could not, or would not acknowledge him. Again, he wanted to jump up and down and just shout._

_HERE I AM!_

_Stop ignoring me! Tell me I am real, that I exist._

_When he was grouped up with team seven he hated when Sakura fawned all over Sasuke, yet shouted at him, and even hit him on the head. He hated it when Sasuke acted all "look at me I'm an emo bastard but I am better then you" attitude, then smirked at him before he beat the living snot out of him in training. He hated it when Sakura asked Sasuke on dates but turned him flat down when he asked her, even when Sasuke teme would turn her down with his bastardly "Hn's" which in those cases meant.."I don't think so and not in your wildest dreams and pretty much NO." Oh he hated it when Sasuke did that to Sakura chan or to him. _

_Sasuke always acted as if he was so hot and better than him, acted as if Kakashi sensei wasn't strong enough to teach him. He hated it when Sasuke would out shine him and then smirk at him and call him scaredy cat or dobe. Urgh how Naruto hated the bastard when he did that. But what Naruto hated the most was when Kakashi choose to dump him on Ebiso so he could train Sasuke instead of him, when Sakura wouldn't yell at him but just ignore his whinings and pleas for a date. He hated it when Sasuke wouldn't even look his way and sighed as if he were nothing, as if he could care less that he was a part of their team, it was those times, the times Kakashi, Sakura, and especially Sasuke, behaved as if he were not a part of Cell 7, not a part of them, not even a blip on their radar, as if they could not hear him, see him, feel him. At those times, he wanted to shout and cry out._

_HERE I AM!_

_Look at me! Stop ignoring me! Tell me I am real, that I exist. _

_But what Naruto hated the MOST? What he absolutely could not tolerate at all? Was the day Sasuke left. _

_ He said goodbye to Sakura but didn't bother to say a damn word to him. When Naruto had gone after him, and fought him at the Valley of the End, he still acted as he did not know that Naruto existed, he fought him sure, he beat the tar out of him and even shoved his fist threw his chest, but when he left Naruto there in the rain, on the mud and blood splattered ground to die, turned his back on him and just walked off into the night without another word or the fact that he lay there dying…..that's what Naruto hated the most. It hurt him down to his very core. _

_Didn't Sasuke know what it had down to him, to be left behind? Didn't he know how bad it hurt to realize he had not been worth a goodbye? Did Sasuke not understand how not even the fight or the hole in his chest had hurt half as much as when Sasuke had told him that he was his most precious person then just walked away? Left him to die? That by doing so he was saying he did not care, that as of that moment, as of that instant, his precious person, his team mate and rival, no longer existed in his mind, his world, his life? And although Naruto couldn't move, his mind screamed, it yelled, it told Sasuke over and over again…_

_HERE I AM! You cant say all that stuff and then try to kill me you bastard!_

_HERE I AM! Don't walk away from me._

_HERE I AM! Don't leave me._

_HERE I AM! Don't leave me Sasuke, don't acknowledge me and just leave me as if I don't matter anymore, please Sasuke. Don't take away all that I've worked hard for and just throw it all away. Without you there is no me. Please Sasuke don't leave me._

_And when Kakashi put him on his back and took him back to Konoha, Naruto knew, he was nothing, not really, oh he existed, he was real, he was alive, but he was nothing, not yet anyway. He would have to prove it to that bastard first. He would train and got stronger, he would track the teme down and kicked his ass and dragg him back to Konoha. It was when he was recovering in the hospital that Naruto realized something else, something that Sasuke and everyone else who had ever tried to behave as if he were not there would come to realize as well. When he got stronger and bought his teme back, they would know, they would know that he, Uzumaki Naruto, was somebody. That he was real, that he was and is alive, and that he was important, is important. Not because he bought back his stupid teme, no, they would know because Naruto had a new nindo in life. He was going to make damn sure everyone heard him loud and clear this time._

_HERE I AM!!_

_Get used to it people, believe it and realize it, you can't ignore me anymore, you can't act as if I don't exist, as if I am not real. Because I won't let you. Not anymore._

_HERE I AM!_

_And I will be the greatest ninja to ever grace Konoha, and I WILL be Hokage someday, believe it, get used to it and quite bitching about it because its REAL. I AM REAL AND I AM HERE._

_Ya stupid little drabble I came up with on the fly it came to me and just sort of petered out towards the middle, but aaahhh well…what can I say? Can I even call it a drabble? Ok a crappy one shot dealy that makes no sense. Sowwy._

_Huggles and smiles Mija…__J_


End file.
